my oneshots
by redsneakers
Summary: like what the title said.. every new chapter means a new story and it has nothing to do with the previous chapters.
1. Obvious

**a/n: I got bored with my new found desk job and decided to write something. And since my beta is currently swamped with school work and exams, this is unbeta'ed. I don't want to add her burden. Ex, consider this for you - wishing you good luck on the exams and all. Love you, girl!**

**I hope you will enjoy it. comments are always appreciated. :D  
**

**Disclaimer: Not mine *scoffs*

* * *

  
**

"_I've made it obvious... done everything but say it..."_

_Obvious_ - Westlife

.

Emily smiled when she saw what was on her desk when she arrived at the office. A box of dark chocolate with a small note attached on it had already waited on top of the stack of case files. She took the card and read a very simple note written in it.

"_Thank you for last night. I'll call you. Hugs."_

Her smile widened. The woman put the card in her desk drawer – along with a few other similar cards. There was no name on the card, but she knew who had sent it.

"Chocolate this time?" Morgan suddenly said from behind her, making Emily jumped a little. "Geez girl; and I thought your social life sucks."

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Likewise, Derek," she replied. "And this is from a friend."

The dark agent gave a chuckle of disbelief. "And this friend must have a major crush on you then, clueless nerd! Chocolate, cupcakes, potpourri, and what was the first one – right, your favourite brand of coffee," Morgan listed, laughing all the way.

"Well, this friend happens to be very thoughtful, Morgan," Emily said sweetly with a smile. She took the box of chocolate and put it into her bag. "And I was going to share it with you – changed my mind. I'll share it with someone else." The woman took her handbag and walked away from the still laughing Morgan.

Emily headed out of the bullpen to JJ's office. She knew JJ must have arrived earlier – she always did. She smiled when she heard JJ's soft voice talking on the phone before she could see the blonde. She stopped in front of her office, leaning casually on the door frame, and knocked.

JJ lifted her head – her bright blue eyes sparkled as they met Emily's brown eyes. She smiled and motioned her friend to come in with her head. She mouthed 'one minute' and pointed to a chair, asking Emily to sit down and wait for her.

The profiler watched JJ as the younger woman talked on the phone, nodding at times and scribbling some information on a legal pad. Emily enjoyed the view in front of her, mostly because she knew that JJ was oblivious that Emily was watching her. Emily quickly averted her eyes when JJ bid whoever was talking with her goodbye.

"So," JJ began with a highly amused tone, "what brings Emily Prentiss to my door?"

Emily chuckled. She dipped into her handbag and pulled out the box of chocolate, waving it in front of JJ. "Mind telling me about this?" she asked. "Please tell you didn't go out in the middle of the night to buy this."

"You're very welcome, Emily," JJ said. "No, I woke up too early this morning so I decided to stop by the supermarket and get you something."

The brunette shook her head. 'Waking up too early' was a lame excuse – they both knew what time they had finished talking on the phone last night. Emily had called JJ last night when she came across a very sappy old movie rerun on television as she knew that the other woman would love to watch it. They had ended up not watching but talking nonsense for over two hours on the phone – laughing and giggling like schoolgirls.

Before Emily could say anything, Hotch showed up at the door. The unit chief apologized for disturbing them but he really needed to see JJ in his office. The two women moved simultaneously – Emily walked back to her desk and JJ followed Hotch to his office.

***

Work was a little slow for Emily that morning – she had already finished and filed her case report the day before, the first one who had finished it as usual – so she basically had nothing to do. The woman decided to read the novel she had brought with her, but her mind would not cooperate – it kept wandering to the nice conversation she had had with JJ the night before.

Jennifer Jareau had been Emily's friend ever since she was transferred to the BAU. While it took some time for the others to warm up to her, JJ had been very nice to her since they first met. Garcia had always been nice to her, too – but it was different. Garcia didn't travel with her as much as JJ did. The computer expert didn't always get to see with her own eyes the horrific scenes and the extent of cruelty a person could inflict to others. And when you shared the experience of seeing the terrifying images with someone, you couldn't help but have a special connection with that particular person.

Emily had always liked JJ as a friend – until recently. She didn't know what changed, or how it happened. But she realized that she had certain feelings – very strong feelings – for JJ and that the feelings were not simply platonic. She didn't know when she first noticed how beautiful JJ was, or how deep her blue eyes were, or how captivating her smile was. And honestly, Emily didn't want to think too much about it.

She enjoyed her friendship with JJ. For now, she was satisfied for being able to flirt with the blonde without having to think about the consequences; she was still happy for being able to call JJ at any time and have some silly laugh with her. She knew that soon all that would not be enough anymore, that one day she would be frustrated by her feelings for the other woman. Emily didn't care – she didn't want to worry about it now.

"Earth to Emily!" Morgan snapped his fingers in front of her and Emily blinked. She slapped Morgan's arm playfully but the muscular man was faster than her. He laughed. "Sorry for calling you back from Mars, girl, but your phone has been ringing for a minute or so now!"

"Huh? Wha..?" Emily didn't hear the ringing until now. She picked the phone up without looking at the name of the caller. "Prentiss," she said.

"Hey, am I disturbing you?" JJ's sweet voice was heard from the other end of the line, and Emily smiled unconsciously.

"Nope, not at all. I just didn't hear the phone; too absorbed in reading, I guess. What's up?" Emily's reply had caused Morgan to choke in laughter and the brunette glared at him. She listened to JJ for a while before responding, "Oh, it's okay, really. Walking to your office as we speak."

***

JJ's office was a clutter when Emily got there – there were case files everywhere, even on the floor. And the blonde was sitting cross-legged on the floor with file folders around her. JJ was sweating and looked flustered, and Emily thought that the younger woman was very cute.

"What are we looking for again?" Emily said, squatting at the door – the only space that was still free of case files.

JJ sighed angrily. She was so upset about this. "Strauss had _asked_ Hotch to bring her a case file report on a case a couple of months ago – the one that we _didn't_ take; the one that _she_ transferred to another team that _she_ didn't remember which. She knows that I have to keep a copy on every case that comes across my desk, even though we don't take it," JJ told her friend. "But how does she expect me to remember every single case, let alone dated a couple of months back?! This woman is impossible!"

Emily muttered something about Strauss being a power hungry bitch and always wanted to make Hotch and the team suffered and JJ smiled a little when she heard that. "We went to Baltimore a couple of months ago. I guess we can have Garcia cross check all cases being distributed and approved by Strauss around that time and get the reference number so we don't have to read each and every files in your office," Emily said, glancing at stacks of files in JJ's office.

JJ's face lightened up. She reached for her phone and repeated what Emily had told her. Within minutes, Garcia managed to give her five reference numbers. The two women began to sort the file folders faster – they didn't have to open them one by one now.

***

It took them about four hours before they finally found all five files, all of which had to be read to make sure they gave Strauss the right one. They had skipped lunch but neither felt hungry – they had spent the whole day talking about silly stuff.

Emily enjoyed their time together and was rather disappointed when JJ beamed happily as she found the case file that Strauss 'needed'. She jumped and gave Emily a quick hug before running off to Hotch's office to hand him the file. "You, Emily Prentiss, are the best!" the blonde said.

Emily was glad that JJ wasn't there to see her blush. She began to gather and put the cluttered files into stacks, hoping that she didn't mess up JJ's filing – if the blonde had any. She had cleared almost all files when JJ came back, surprised that Emily did the cleanup without waiting for her.

"You should have waited for me!" JJ protested. She helped Emily with the remaining files. Then they sat at JJ's desk, slouching on the chair. "Thank you for helping me, Emily," JJ said. "You're such an angel."

The brunette shrugged. "Anybody could've done it, Jayj," she said. She then glanced at the wall clock; it was almost six and she realized they hadn't had anything to eat since the morning. "I'm a bit hungry. Wanna grab a bite or something?" she asked, hoping that JJ wanted to have dinner with her.

JJ looked at her friend apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry Emily; I have made some plans with Garcia earlier. If I knew, I'd reschedule with her," she said. JJ could have sworn she saw a glimpse of disappointment in Emily's eyes, but It was gone in a blink. "I'm really truly sorry," she added guiltily. JJ knew she had no reason to feel guilty – it wasn't like she had broken her promise or something – but she still felt guilty.

The tall woman was disappointed. She was hoping to have dinner with JJ and talk again some more. And if she wanted to be honest, she was a little surprised – not a really nice one – that JJ didn't offer her to join them. She hoped that her feelings weren't shown on her face as she shook her head and stood up. "It's okay, Jayj. I'm not that hungry anyway. You have fun with Garcia. Rain check?" Emily answered with – what she hoped to be – a usual tone.

"Yeah," JJ replied with a rather small voice. She didn't know why, but she felt a little sad. If only Garcia hadn't made her promise not to invite anyone else, she'd invite Emily in a heartbeat. JJ knew that Garcia wanted to talk to her about something important, but she really wished she hadn't promised. "I'm so sorry Emily."

Emily smiled. "No problem, JJ," she said as she walked to the door. She waved as a reply when JJ promised to call her later. She went back to her desk to get her stuff, said good night to Morgan, Reid, and Rossi, and headed to the parking lot. She caught a glimpse of JJ and Garcia at the parking lot; both women were laughing heartily. They didn't see Emily waving at them.

***

It was almost midnight when Emily's phone rang. The brunette groaned and yanked the phone from the bedside table. She had a little too much to drink and too little to eat before going to bed, and she didn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night. "Prentiss," she barked on the phone sleepily.

"Emily?" JJ's voice sounded nervous over the phone. "Did I wake you up?"

Hearing JJ's voice, Emily sat straight up on the bed, cursing at the wave of dizziness that hit her. "JJ?" she asked, glancing at the clock. "What happened? Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong. I had promised to call you when I got home. Sorry I woke you up; I didn't realize how late it is. Go back to sleep," the blonde replied quickly.

Emily let out an audible sigh. She was relieved to know that JJ was okay. She lay back on the bed. "So, did you two have fun?" she asked curiously. She was tired, but she wanted to talk with JJ, to hear her voice.

JJ recounted all details of her night out with Garcia, leaving only some things that Garcia had made her promise not to tell anyone. She was glad that Emily didn't just hang up when she told her to go back to sleep. She enjoyed talking with the older woman on the phone. She didn't really remember how it had started, but she remembered that Emily was the one who started the routine of calling her to have a random chat. The brunette had only called her after a case at first, to ask if she was okay. But then the calls got more and more often – and JJ didn't mind at all. Emily was a wonderful person, and the profiler always managed to bring up the silliest thing in a conversation. JJ didn't get to see this side of Emily as often at work and she was happy to be one of the few people who had the privilege of seeing it.

They spoke for another two hours before hanging up. Emily felt refreshed when they hung up – and she spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, smiling ear to ear.

***

The next two weeks was crazy – they got a terrible case; a lot of victims and multiple Unsubs. The team always got back to the hotel looking beat. Emily was tired physically and emotionally, both by the case and by her own frustration over JJ. Somehow in the two weeks, she was no longer contented by their relationship of being only friends.

Emily had tried to hide her feelings for the younger woman, and at the same time she had been courting JJ all the way. Of course, JJ was oblivious about it – and that was the thing that drove Emily crazy.

To make things worse, someone at the hotel had somehow managed to screw up the reservations and instead of getting six rooms, they only got five. And of course Emily and JJ shared a room – the guys fussed too much about who snored and who couldn't stop talking.

It was nice at first, to be able to chat with JJ before going to bed and to be able to see the blonde first thing in the morning, when a hint of sleep still lingered on her beautiful face. But after a while, Emily needed her space. She was tired of having to control herself all the time – fearing that she might let out something that alerted JJ of her feelings for the blonde, and at the same time she wanted JJ to know.

She spent less and less time in the room, avoiding JJ as much as she possibly could. She had even tried to spend the night at the police station – only to have a very worried JJ picking her up at three in the morning. She knew JJ was confused about the sudden change in her; Emily didn't blame her. She was also confused herself.

"Hey," JJ called out, sitting at the corner of Emily's bed. Emily was reading a book – or that was what she seemed to do. They had finally been able to wrap up the case and had nothing else to do until it was time to leave; bad weather had cancelled all flights. It was just a couple of hours after lunch time and everyone had retreated to their own rooms to rest.

Emily looked up and smiled. "Hey," she replied casually, marking the part she was reading and closing her book. "What's up?"

JJ was nervous. She didn't know if she had done something wrong to Emily; she felt that Emily was creating a distance between them. "Nothing much," she said. She contemplated on how to ask Emily if something was wrong, but then the words came out before she could stop herself. "Emily, did I do something that offended you?"

The brunette frowned at the question. She sat up straight. "Now why would you think so, Jayj?" she asked. She knew where this was heading and she wasn't sure if she was ready for this conversation.

"Well, you've been different since the case started," JJ began. "You've been a little... distant. You don't talk to me anymore – I mean, we don't talk as much as we used to. We're friends; you know you can talk to me about anything."

_Like I can tell you that I'm in love with you?_ Emily thought, smiling rather sadly. "I'm sorry JJ," Emily said. "I guess the case had drained all my energy. I didn't mean to shut you out." She decided that it was the best excuse for now. She was glad to see the relieved look in JJ's eyes after the younger woman heard it.

"So... we're good?" JJ asked hesitantly. She wasn't really sure if Emily was saying the truth, but she knew that Emily would never lie to her. When Emily nodded, JJ couldn't help herself. She gave Emily a hug, sighing contentedly as she felt Emily's warmth seeped on her skin. She was lucky to have Emily as a friend and she couldn't think of how her life might be if one day Emily left her.

***

"...a man, I'd fall hard for her. She's perfect you know. If I'm ever gonna have someone special, I want that person to have her personality and all."

Emily stopped on her tracks when she heard JJ talk to Garcia in the break room. It was early in the morning and she didn't expect anyone to have arrived. The brunette leaned against the wall, listening. She didn't mean to eavesdrop but she wanted to know who they were talking about.

She knew that Garcia was making faces, because JJ continued again, "What? Seriously – the woman is perfect. She will make someone feels like heaven if Emily's in love with him. And I wonder if... well, if she'll be different towards us."

Emily blushes but she didn't move. Her heart swelled with happiness and she was a bit embarrassed as well. She kept on listening.

"JJ, if I don't know better, I'd say you're jealous," Garcia's voice was playful as usual. "Don't glare at me like that! You told me to come early because you wanted to chat with me but all you've been doing since I arrived is talking about Emily. Emily doesn't call you as often anymore; Emily seems to keep a secret from you; Emily this, Emily that. Geez Jayj, I didn't even know that you guys call each other that often."

"Jealous? Me?" JJ's voice rose. She scoffed. "Why would I? I mean – I'm not even... she's not... I mean, we are straight!"

Emily sighed upon hearing the last sentence. She shook her head and walked away from the break room. There were times when Emily wanted to be someone else – and now was one of those times. For once, she really wanted to be a man.

***

The brunette was quiet for the rest of the day. Even Hotch noticed the unusual behaviour and asked Morgan about it. The dark agent said he knew nothing, but he also added that it's been a while since the last time anyone left small gifts for Emily on her desk – and that might be the reason why the woman was quiet.

Emily had been thinking about what she should do with JJ. She had put the ball in JJ's court with no luck whatsoever. JJ had admitted that she wanted someone like Emily, but she also said that she was straight. It was confusing, frustrating, and overwhelming. Emily needed to talk with someone – but who? It wasn't like she had a lot of friends outside the team. Besides, everyone would be shocked if she told them she liked girls – well, only a particular woman, to be exact.

She glanced at Morgan. She was pretty close with the tall man but she didn't think they were close enough to discuss this kind of things. Reid was never in her list; Emily obviously needed more than just statistics. Garcia? She believed the woman, of course, and she knew that Garcia would never betray her confidence. But Garcia was close with JJ, too. She might accidentally let something out – tipping JJ without realizing it. Emily sighed. She could always talk to Hotch – she knew the unit chief would listen to her and not judge her – but she didn't want Hotch to remind her about the rules and all. So that left Rossi. Emily frowned. Did she want to talk about this with the senior agent? Certainly not.

"You're so dead, Emily Prentiss," she muttered and nearly choked when she looked up and saw JJ standing next to her. "Oh! JJ, you scared me!" she said.

The younger woman smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," she apologize. "I wanted to say hi earlier but you seemed lost in your thoughts. Is there something bothering you?"

_You_, Emily said in her head. But all she said was, "I do have some things in my mind right now." She moved past JJ to the break room, hoping that the young press liaison didn't follow her. Tough luck.

"Emily," JJ called out to her. Emily turned around, looking at the pool of blue eyes in front of her. "You know you can always talk to me, right?"

The brunette smiled tiredly. "Not about this, I can't," she replied before she could hold her tongue. She mentally smacked herself for not having self control. "Look, JJ... I'm sorry. It's just that my mind is so full right now. I can't think straight. I'll call you tonight?"

JJ nodded. She was disappointed and was rather taken aback by Emily's abrupt response about not being able to talk to her. She wondered why Emily was suddenly so secretive; but then again, she knew there were a lot that Emily didn't tell her. She felt a sudden emptiness in her heart when she realized it – as if someone had taken her heart away and left her. JJ didn't like the feelings – and she wanted to get an answer one way or another.

***

The phone conversation had been better than Emily had expected. She didn't realize how much she missed talking to JJ on the phone like this and she wondered why she didn't call her all that often anymore. What had been intended to be a short 'how are you' phone call had turned to be an hour random chat with all the giggling and laughing – just like the old times. Emily didn't know who was the one who didn't want the call to end; there had been several times that they seemed to have nothing more to talk about, but before one could say goodbye, the other would say something else to keep the conversation going.

They were talking about guys now – the only subject Emily had never brought up ever since the calling routine started. JJ was the one who started it; her last effort of keeping Emily on the phone.

"So what's your type like, Emily?" JJ asked teasingly. She really wanted to know about what Emily saw in a man.

"I have no particular type of men, Jayj," Emily replied, suppressing a sigh. "What about you?"

"Aw, no types? You gotta be kidding me! Mention at least one thing you like about men. Spill girl, it's not like I'm going to spread it around," JJ insisted.

Emily sighed audibly now. "Seriously, I don't have any," she replied. _I can't say the same about girls, though_, Emily bit her tongue before she said it. "Now why don't we talk about something else?" For a reason Emily couldn't understand, JJ didn't seem to budge. She insisted that they stayed on the topic and Emily was getting tired of it. "Look, Jayj, I really don't have any particular types of men, and I certainly don't know why you're interested to know. I don't even like me... oh, can we just not talk about it?"

JJ was surprised to hear Emily's harsh tone. But what surprised her more was the last thing Emily said before suddenly trying to change the topic. It was something Emily didn't let slip in purpose, JJ was sure of it. Emily Prentiss didn't like _men_? JJ wanted to punch herself when she heard Emily gasped on the other line – she had asked the question out loud. She couldn't stop Emily when the brunette abruptly ended the call, leaving JJ cursing herself.

"Jennifer Jareau, you are stupid!" JJ growled. She needed to do something. But what? She was thinking of calling Emily again, but that would be stupid. She was thinking of calling Garcia – but that would be another mistake. It was clear that Emily didn't want her private life to be known, and telling Garcia would mean betraying her trust. JJ sighed. She decided on seeing Emily in person. She didn't care that it was almost midnight. She needed to see Emily. Now.

***

Emily couldn't believe that she let it slip! She couldn't believe how stupid she had been for not being able to hold her tongue. _Now what?_ she thought. "Now you're really dead, Prentiss!" she retorted angrily. She paced around her bedroom, thinking about what could possibly happen next. She didn't hear the doorbell at first and she walked downstairs and angrily opened the door without looking through the peephole first.

She was surprised to see JJ standing nervously at the door. She didn't expect the younger woman to come all the way to her apartment. "JJ!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

JJ looked at Emily nervously. The older woman didn't seem pleased to see her. Understandable, though, since her last comment on the phone hadn't actually been supportive or nice. "Hey, Em. Can I come in?"

Emily shrugged and let the blonde in. She closed the door behind her and pointed to one of the sofas, asking JJ to sit. She offered JJ something to drink but the press liaison refused. JJ chose the sofa closest to where Emily was standing and Emily pulled a stool and sat on it – maintaining distance between them.

"So what brings you here? It's past midnight already," Emily pointed out. Her voice was even – she was always good at hiding her emotions.

JJ didn't know where to start, so she thought that apologies should go first. "I... I wanted to apologize for my inappropriate comment earlier. It was rude of me," she began. "Emily, I didn't mean any prejudice with my last comment – I hope you know that."

Emily nodded. "I know. You're not the type that looks down on people. Don't worry about it," she said, reassuring her friend. "And you could just send me a text or call me again instead of driving all the way here."

The younger agent sighed. Emily was always sweet to her, even though at times – like now – she didn't deserve her nice treatments. "No, I have to see you in person, Em," the blonde said. "I know you. I know what you will think if I don't come here and make myself clear. I know what you would think if I only sent you a text message. You have to know that everything you're thinking is wrong," she continued. She was locking her eyes into Emily's, making sure the older woman heard every single word. "I don't care who you're interested in; I don't care if you don't like men; I don't care if you like women. All I care about is you. You are my friend and I need you to know that I love you."

Emily knew that JJ's 'I love you' didn't mean anything – only a friend's love for another friend. She shook her head. "Well, you didn't know that I am _in_ love with you," she whispered unconsciously, totally unaware that JJ could hear each and every word.

The blonde was flabbergasted when she heard those words and she wondered if she had heard it correctly. "What?"

The brunette's head whipped upwards. Brown eyes and blue eyes locked together. There was a part in Emily that wanted to shrug her confession off, pretending that it was just a silly joke. But looking into JJ's deep blue eyes, she just couldn't do it. She couldn't lie anymore – and she wouldn't.

"Yes, JJ. I'm in love with you," Emily repeated with more confidence now. "And don't ask me why. I don't know the answer to that. All I know is that you're always in my mind – you're always the first one I think about in the morning, and you're the last thing I remember before I fall asleep."

JJ blushed. "Bu... but how?"

"There's no how, JJ," Emily said, smiling amusedly. "I can't believe you don't know – I've been courting you like crazy – the flowers, the wine, the homemade dinners!"

JJ stood up, her mouth agape. She didn't know what to say. Emily Prentiss was in love. With her. JJ couldn't think. On the one hand she was amazed and honoured to be the object of Emily's affection; on the other hand she was confused – she had never been in this situation before. She always considered herself as a heterosexual. She really didn't know how to respond.

Emily sighed when she saw the confused look on JJ's face. "I'm sorry if my confession hurt you, JJ," she genuinely apologized. She had given up hope – at least now she had admitted her feelings for the younger woman.

JJ walked to Emily's direction and stopped just a couple of inches from the taller woman. She pulled Emily into a hug and breathed on Emily's sweet scent. She held the older woman tight, not willing to let go. "You can't expect nothing will change after this Em," she whispered after a while. "Honestly, I am flattered and am honoured that you are in love with me – me, among all those people. But I have to admit that I still don't know how I feel about this... love for you. But one thing you should know, Emily Prentiss: I'm not going anywhere," JJ said. She loosened her hug just enough to be able to see Emily's face. "I'm here and I'm not running away from your feelings."

They stood motionlessly in the middle of Emily's living room, holding each other closely – each was thinking about what was going to happen next.

.

"_Since you never seem to see the way that we belong, I sing it in a love song."_

_Obvious_ - Westlife

* * *

**a/n: any thoughts?**


	2. Denial and A Shade of Jealousy

**a/n: I wrote this for fun, and this is a pointless story (seriously, it's pointless!). This is unbetaed, so all spelling and grammatical mistakes are my own. I hope you won't kill me after you read it. Please.. don't kill me. I haven't witnessed the moment Emily comes out yet (if ever). ;)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine - if it's mine, Emily would have come out long time ago and Will be non-existent. *gags* Ugh, I mentioned a dirty name.**

**

* * *

  
**

JJ had just gotten out of her office when she saw Hotch talking with a very attractive woman in an elegant suit. The two were walking side by side from the lift. The woman was tall with dazzling auburn hair that reached her collarbone. JJ only caught a little of their conversation.

"I'm honoured to be welcomed to the team, Agent Hotchner," the woman said, smiling.

JJ stopped on her tracks. _Welcomed to the team? What the..?_ she thought. She hurried to the briefing room, knowing that the team had already waited there. When she got into the briefing room, the team was chatting idly. Morgan was flirting with Garcia as usual and Rossi and Reid were having a discussion with Emily.

The blonde smiled as she saw Emily Prentiss's head whipped upwards to greet her. The older woman smiled back and waved at JJ to join them. JJ happily accepted the silent invitation even though she wasn't eager to join in any discussions with the two men – heaven knows how boring it could be sometimes; JJ was eager to sit beside Emily.

Emily Prentiss was a very nice woman and JJ enjoyed talking with her. The two women were pretty close with each other – very close. JJ knew that Emily's feelings for her were more than simply platonic – Emily didn't see JJ only as friend; the brunette herself had admitted it a couple of months before. JJ hadn't responded on Emily's feelings yet; she still didn't know how she felt about the other woman. But their friendship remained strong – there had been some awkward moments at first but they managed to overcome it somehow.

"Hey, do you know anything about the woman who came with Hotch?" JJ asked when she had sat down.

Emily frowned. "What woman?" she asked, looking out through the glass panel. When she couldn't find the woman JJ was talking about, she turned back at JJ. "I didn't see anyone."

"She was... oh, never mind. There they are," JJ said, nodding at the door as she saw Hotch walking into the briefing room; the woman was following him.

Emily's head turned to see who was coming. Her expression changed and she almost fell from the chair when she recognized the person behind Hotch.

"Guys, this is..." Hotch had begun to introduce them to the woman when Emily interrupted him.

"McKenzie Adams! What on earth are you doing here?" the brunette exclaimed. She never thought to see her old friend in the BAU.

The woman looked surprised. She beamed, "Emily Prentiss! Oh dear, what are _you_ doing here?" The red haired woman took a step forward and pulled Emily into a hug. The brunette hugged her back, grinning ear to ear.

JJ stared at them without blinking. She didn't know what to say. She felt slightly uneasy when she saw them hugging each other but she pushed the feeling away.

Hotch nodded at the woman. "Well, as you now know, this is SSA McKenzie Adams from Chicago HQ. She will be here with our team for three months. She is conducting a research, so she will be with us on briefings, cases, and evaluations," he continued his explanations. He then welcomed the woman to say a few words before they began reviewing the last case.

JJ had thought that McKenzie Adams was attractive when she first saw her; she changed her mind – the woman in front of her was stunning. She had a perfect heart-shaped face with big green eyes, pointed nose, and a pair of full lips. There was a dimple on his left cheek when she smiled or talked. _She looks like a goddess_, JJ thought. And she looked at Emily. _And they look perfect together_, she added sulkily.

The red haired woman shook their hands one after another as Hotch introduced the team to her, repeating their names as she did so. She shook JJ's hand last, holding it a bit longer than necessary, smiling a little, before letting go and turning her attention back to Emily. JJ didn't fail to notice that the redhead still had her arm around Emily's waist, and again, she felt an uncomfortable nudge in her heart.

***

The rest of the day had been slow. The team spent their time writing the reports. To JJ's surprise, Hotch had asked Emily to brief Agent Adams about everything. It was JJ's job to brief the team. She wasn't territorial on her job; she was happy if someone else was willing to do the briefing as it could be tiring at times. The problem was, she wasn't too happy about the idea of Emily spending more time with the Adams woman than necessary. Yes, JJ didn't feel territorial on the job, but she was territorial on Emily Prentiss. _She is my friend_, she justified herself.

By lunch time JJ couldn't find Emily anywhere and she asked Morgan if he knew where the brunette was. The dark agent replied without looking up, "She's having lunch with Adams." JJ frowned. She didn't say anything. Morgan glanced at her. "Something wrong?"

"No," she replied quickly, hiding her disappointment. She waved at Morgan and returned to her office, not feeling hungry anymore. She checked her phone and felt another wave of disappointment swept upon her when there was no new message in it. Emily always sent her text messages during office hours. No matter how busy the brunette was, she always took time to text JJ. She sighed. She had seen the way McKenzie Adams looked at Emily, and she didn't like it.

"This is going to be a long three month," JJ muttered to herself.

***

"So, Emma, I see that you really like working at the BAU," McKenzie said after the waiter took their orders. "Your team looks awesome."

Emily smiled upon hearing the name. McKenzie had always refused calling her with her real name since they knew each other back in the Academy. "The name's Emily, Kenz. I don't remember being rechristened," she replied sweetly. "And yes, my team is awesome. They're the best. Hotch is a brilliant leader; Rossi is... well, he is David Rossi; Morgan is very reliable – I trust him with my life; Reid is awesome. You can say anything to him only to have him quote it some million years later. And you've met Garcia; she is the best. And..."

"And there's the hot blonde who couldn't stop staring at my arm on your waist," McKenzie teased. She laughed when Emily choked on her drink and glared at her. "What? She was staring."

"We're so not talking about this, McKenzie," Emily said in a low voice. She didn't need her friend to dig into her personal life, even though she realized nothing would stop McKenzie. The redhead was really good at making people dish their most embarrassing thoughts to her. "So what really brought you here?" Emily asked, hoping to change the subject.

McKenzie stared at Emily with her bright green eyes for a moment. She smiled and shook her head. She would put the subject down – for now. She still had time to make her friend tell her anything. She knew that there was something between Emily and the blonde; she had seen the way Emily looked at JJ and McKenzie had seen the look once, years ago, and she knew what that meant. "Research for my Doctorate degree," she replied. "Full scholarship from the Bureau and all I need to do is snoop into various departments, yours included."

"What a waste of money," Emily replied sarcastically, chuckling. "And what do they expect to get back from you? Don't they know you only answer to the highest bidder?" Sarcasm had always been their way of joking. They never took it seriously, even though it could have sounded harsh to others who heard it.

"They expect me to be their slave until I die. They have even made me a fitting bunny suit for that," she replied. "So I know the basics on how you guys get involved in a case, but I need details on how the case got into your laps and stuff," McKenzie changed the subject. She was a very ambitious woman and she never wasted any time to get the work done.

Emily explained how JJ usually picked the cases for them and she told McKenzie how usually they did the work. The two women kept talking over lunch. It was a pleasant conversation and Emily actually missed talking and working with the woman again – McKenzie was a good friend and co-worker.

When they had finished their meals, the two women headed back to the office and returned to work. McKenzie was an eager learner and Emily was a natural teacher and soon they were busy with their work.

And not once did Emily text JJ that day.

***

JJ was beyond irritated when she received no text messages from Emily by the time she finished working. She couldn't explain why – it wasn't like Emily belonged to her, but JJ still didn't like it. She missed Emily's sweet messages, whether she'd like to admit it or not. The blonde was in a very bad mood when Garcia entered her office.

"Hi Kitten!" Garcia beamed, smiling ear to ear. Her smile fell the moment she saw JJ's expression. "Hey, is something wrong?"

The press liaison muttered something unintelligible under her breath but she didn't reply to Garcia's question. She stacked the files on her desk – threw them into piles, to be exact. "I'm heading home," she informed her friend.

Garcia knew something was off, but she didn't press the matter – at least for now. She would ask JJ later if the woman had calmed down a bit. "You're not coming with us? Morgan and Reid are going to have some drinks at the club," the computer analyst asked. She was disappointed when JJ shook her head; the shorter woman had expected a night out with JJ and the others. "Aw, Emily and Kenzie won't come – and now you, too!"

The younger woman frowned at the mention of Emily's name. She said nothing and left Garcia behind. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she walked to the parking lot. She had never felt so betrayed before. _Emily doesn't belong to you, Jareau_, she reminded herself. _But she said she loved me_, the other part of her argued back. _Yes, and you didn't say you love her back_.

***

"You reached the domain of the super noblewoman Emily Prentiss, to whom am I speaking, please?" a cheerful voice that wasn't Emily's greeted JJ, causing the blonde to frown. Her heart beat faster when she recognized the voice. She glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table. It read 12:03 AM.

"Wh...Who is this?" JJ asked, hoping that she was wrong.

The same voice laughed. "Well, lady, you're the one who called. Who is _this_?" she replied.

Before JJ could say anything she heard another voice from the background – Emily's. She heard something about 'what did I tell you about picking up my calls' and the reply was, "But it rang and you weren't there to answer."

"Oh, get lost, Kenz!" Emily's voice was clear now. "Yes? JJ? Are you still there?" the brunette called out. She knew that JJ was the only person who called her in the middle of the night.

JJ's heart sank as her friend confirmed who the other person was. "Yeah," she replied weakly. "Am I disturbing you?"

"No, not at all. I was just watching a stupid talk show on TV with Kenz," Emily said. The brunette sensed something was off in JJ's voice. She furrowed her brows into a deep frown and walked upstairs to her bedroom, glaring at McKenzie as the red-haired woman snorted and making faces at her. "Is something the matter? Are you okay?"

The concern in Emily's voice nearly drove JJ to tears. She hated that Emily could read her that easily – she hated how obvious she was in front of Emily. "I just wanted to talk with you, but I see you have company. Tomorrow, maybe?" the blonde replied, careful as not to show her feelings.

"No, no, don't hang up," Emily said as she entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. "I'd love to talk with you. And just ignore Kenz; she'll be here long and I'll have a lot of time to chat with her. So how was your day?" the brunette asked casually. She lay down on her bed, grabbing a pillow to support the head, and turned her attention back to the phone.

JJ hesitated. There was something in Emily's statement that raised her curiosity, but she ignored it. She told Emily that her day was pretty much boring and that she was looking for Emily around lunchtime but couldn't find the brunette. She didn't mention her empty mailbox or hint that she felt a little bit... left out. JJ didn't know if she should laugh or cry when Emily confessed that the woman couldn't remember the food she had eaten earlier that day – JJ took it that Emily had been deeply engrossed in her conversation with Agent Adams while eating. And to make things worse, she heard voices from Emily's background. It sounded like Agent Adams entered Emily's room.

"A second, Jayj," Emily said to her. The brunette then called out to McKenzie, who was now invading her drawers. "McKenzie Adams, stay away from my drawers!" She threw a pillow towards the woman, and the redhead laughed. "Seriously, Kenz, if you want to stay here, you'd better not go anywhere near my drawers!" warned Emily. To JJ, "sorry about that. Kenzie can be so annoying sometimes. You were saying?"

The blonde was baffled by Emily's last words to McKenzie. _Stay... where?_ JJ thought. She didn't realize her thought was actually said until Emily replied to her innocently, "Oh, I didn't tell you? Kenz is staying at my place until she finishes her research."

JJ gasped audibly. Before Emily could ask her what's wrong, the blonde hung up. She hurried downstairs and unplugged her landline cable – she knew Emily would call back – and she put her cell phone in silent mode.

***

JJ was still lying wide awake in her bed a couple of hours later. She noticed that her phone had stopped ringing for at least the last half an hour and she let out an audible sigh. Emily had given up on calling her and sending her text messages. The blonde couldn't sleep. And somehow she had the feeling that she had ruined Emily's sleep as well. She sighed louder, letting her frustration out.

_What the hell were you thinking, Jareau? Hanging up like that – Emily must be worried sick,_ JJ scolded herself for being so stupid. She couldn't explain the sudden emptiness she felt in her heart when she knew that McKenzie would be staying with her friend for the whole three months. Emily wasn't her lover; heck, JJ wasn't even into women. _Until now_, a mocking voice added in her head. _Come on, JJ, admit it – you're jealous._ "I am not jealous!" JJ spat out angrily. "Emily is my best friend – it's normal if I feel a bit left out when her _old_ friend comes to town and Emily seems to be all over her!" she rationalized. _But Emily's feelings for you aren't just _normal_, or are they? _The voice insisted. "Emily's feelings have nothing to do with the way I feel. I am not jealous!" JJ said it louder, hoping to stop the inner voice from saying more things. She didn't want to look deeper into her heart, afraid of what she might find.

Being friends with Emily was convenient. Emily was always protective, and she understood JJ more than everyone else on the team. Having Emily as a friend was beyond convenient – JJ didn't have to worry about offending the other woman; Emily was the sweetest person on earth. But then again, being loved – as a woman rather than as a friend – by Emily was also comfortable. Emily provided JJ with an unconditional love; the brunette was there for her and would do anything to make sure JJ was okay. And the brunette would do that without asking for anything in return.

When she thought about it, JJ felt so selfish. Emily had done everything for her – and JJ was sure the older woman would give JJ her arm if JJ asked her to; yet JJ never did anything for the brunette. _No wonder Emily turned away to another woman_, JJ contemplated.

"Argh, that's not fair! She doesn't even know how I love her!" she groaned unconsciously.

_There, girl, you said it_, the voice whispered triumphantly in her head and JJ wanted to drill her head that very instant. _Now all you have to do is figure out how to win Emily's heart back_.

"Oh, shut up!" JJ commanded. Her cheeks blushed. But when the voice died out, JJ began to feel lost. "Do I love her?" she asked herself. "Do I love her like she loved me?" JJ frowned as she realized that she had used the word 'loved' instead of 'loves'. She swallowed the invisible lump in her throat.

JJ's question was not answered; she fell asleep before she could answer it. That night JJ dreamed about Emily and a wide smile painted on her face – she was at home.


	3. More Than Words

**A/n: I finally finished putting jumbled-up ideas into one very long one-shot. :D It's a kinda sorta sequel for my previous one-shot(s). But I think you'd understand okay if you don't read the other two. And this is so unbeta-ed. My beta don't make stupid mistakes like I do.  
Ah, and this story is for my LJ friend, addicted_mb. Happy birthday girl! I hope you'll like the story. You can always complain about it and I'll rewrite it (or I'll just write a new story. LOL!). :D **

**Disclaimer: not mine.. anyone willing to get me this for Christmas? Awesome!

* * *

  
**

_"And I wonder where the friendship went. What about the days and the memories we spent? Now it feels like I'm being replaced. Now it feels like I don't know you."_

_.  
_

JJ was avoiding Emily. The brunette sensed it. How could she not? She had had her eyes on the younger woman ever since they started working together, and she had learned to notice even the slightest changes in JJ. Emily pondered on what she had done wrong; she contemplated on why JJ didn't say anything at all to her – weren't they friends? The more Emily thought about it, the more annoyed she became.

It started almost about two and a half month earlier – when JJ had abruptly ended their phone conversation. Emily had spent about an hour trying to call her back and sending her hundreds of text messages but her attempts were ignored. Emily thought that JJ would apologise the next day, but the apology never came. Then JJ had started to make excuses not to join the team's nights out and their conversations on the phone and at work started to get briefer and briefer. To top it all, a couple of night before the team had decided to go on another night out. Emily couldn't go at first – she had to accompany her friend, SSA McKenzie Adams, somewhere else. But apparently they had managed to finish early and then decided to join the team. Emily was very surprised – and this was an unpleasant surprise – when she saw JJ there. And JJ seemed surprised, too, when she saw Emily and McKenzie. Her 'what are you doing here?' stung so badly that the brunette just glared at JJ before walking away, leaving the rest of the team without saying anything. Emily still didn't know what had gone wrong.

"Earth to Emma," McKenzie called out, waving her hand furiously in front of Emily's face. Emily blinked, looking up to the redhead with an annoyed look. After all the years McKenzie still refused to call Emily with her real name when nobody was around. But they were at work now, and calling a colleague with a nickname no one else used would raise an eyebrow or two.

"It's _Emily_, Kenzie," she warned the green-eyed woman. She sighed when McKenzie made a fake 'oops' expression; the woman never learned a thing. Emily knew that one day McKenzie would be in trouble for her attitude, but she also knew that her friend wouldn't even care less if she did. "When are we supposed to leave, again?" Emily asked.

McKenzie rolled her eyes. "Now?" she said. She shook her head when Emily just stared at her as if she had grown another head. "Everyone is waiting for you." The redhead grabbed Emily's coat and pulled the other woman. "Come on!"

They were the last to get into the jet. Emily mumbled an apology before taking the seat nearest to the mini bar. McKenzie followed closely behind her, making faces and gesturing that Emily had been daydreaming earlier. Morgan chuckled at the funny gesture and Rossi gave the woman a lopsided smile. After more than two months working together, the team had warmed up pretty well with McKenzie and her cheekiness. They enjoyed working with her – the woman was fearless; even though by fearless, it also meant reckless. Hotch and Rossi had talked about how the reckless Adams could befriend the very cautious Prentiss. The two women were so different in many ways. But then again, the twosome completed each other in many ways, too.

JJ glanced at the two women but didn't say anything. She averted her gaze right away when she saw that Emily was looking back at her intensely. Her heart was beating fast. She avoided looking at Emily's direction for the rest of the flight, but the blonde could still feel Emily's eyes upon her – burning an invisible hole on her skin.

JJ sighed. She had been avoiding Emily for the past two months. She didn't know why she was doing it; she just thought it would be the best move – since Emily has her _Kenz_ now. JJ realized that she wasn't being fair to Emily as the brunette hadn't done anything wrong. It was JJ who couldn't stand being close to Emily and saw how relaxed Emily was around McKenzie. JJ had always thought that she had seen all parts of Emily, but she was wrong. Emily was different when the taller woman was with McKenzie, and JJ didn't know if she liked to see that side of Emily.

The blonde closed her eyes, keeping the tears at bay. She couldn't stop blaming herself for being so stupid. How could she not realise that she loved Emily before? How could she not know that her feelings for Emily weren't just platonic? How could she be so stupid and not just say 'yes' when Emily said she was in love with JJ? The press liaison really wished she could go back in time and changed everything.

"Jayj, are you okay?" a sweet voice full of concern asked. JJ didn't have to open her eyes to see who owned the voice. "Are you sick? Do you need something?" Emily asked again, her hand was on JJ's shoulder.

JJ opened her eyes slowly; her eyes met a pair of worried brown eyes and she felt guiltier for being such an awful friend. Even after all she had done to Emily, the other woman still treated her with the same kindness. "No, Emily. Thanks. I'm fine, just a little tired," JJ said weakly. She hoped that her voice didn't give out how emotional she was feeling that moment.

Emily raised her eyebrows. JJ didn't look fine; she looked drained – and they hadn't even started working yet. "Are you sure?" she insisted. Her hand was still on JJ's shoulder. Emily felt a jolt when JJ reached out to take her hand and squeezed it lightly, ensuring her that JJ was fine.

"I'm okay, Emily. I just couldn't sleep last night. Don't worry about me," the blonde said, smiling. She was slightly disappointed when Emily told her to take a nap before they landed and that Emily wouldn't disturb her. JJ nodded half-heartedly; her eyes were following Emily as the brunette walked away from her, returning to her seat beside McKenzie who was rereading the case file. JJ felt the tears building up in her eyes and she closed her eyes again.

She had had a chance to have Emily and she didn't take it. Now she desperately wanted the taller woman, and she wasn't sure if Emily was still interested.

***

It was another gruesome case; so far they had had four victims – two young couples – brutally murdered. Emily had nearly lost it when the coroner informed them that the victims had been skinned alive before they were killed. She was tired of compartmentalizing but that was the only way to get through the case now.

Emily had to detach herself from the case and she tried her best to do so. Compartmentalizing got more difficult, though, since she had no time alone. The Bureau had informed them from the beginning that since SSA McKenzie Adams was only doing a research, not assisting them with the investigations, they would not be able to provide her with accommodation, so every time the team went on a case, the redhead had to pay for her own room. Emily couldn't let her do that, and she offered to share her room with her old friend. She usually had no problems sharing a room with McKenzie, but she wanted to be alone now. She knew that the green-eyed woman would not mind if Emily told her that she needed to be alone for a while – they had an understanding. Emily didn't say it because she didn't want McKenzie to spend the rest of the case eyeing her as if she was going to break apart.

***

JJ stopped on her tracks when she saw Emily getting out of her hotel room with track suit and a pair of sneakers. The blonde glanced at her watch and frowned. It was almost midnight and they had just finished working less than an hour before. She noticed that Emily wasn't in the dining room and she suspected the brunette hadn't had her dinner yet.

"Emily, where are you going?" JJ asked before she could stop herself. The brunette lifted up her head to meet JJ's eyes and gave JJ a shy smile. JJ walked towards the brunette and stopped just a couple of steps away from her friend. She could smell Emily's sweet scent and secretly wondered how come she didn't notice how sexy the scent was.

"I'm going for a quick run. I need to clear my head," Emily replied. She didn't expect to meet anyone at this hour; McKenzie fell asleep soon after they got back to the hotel, and Emily thought everyone would be too tired to be awake, too. "What are you doing up this late?" she asked back, hoping that JJ would forget her initial reply.

The younger woman raised her eyebrows upon hearing Emily's answer. "A quick run? At 11.30 at night?" she said disbelievingly, shaking her head. "You are not serious," she said. When Emily didn't budge, JJ's eyes widened. Emily was serious. "What are you thinking? Emily, we're in a new place; you don't know the neighbourhood – not to mention there's a killer out there looking for a new victim," the blonde stated. "Can't you do something more acceptable to clear your head up?" her tone almost sounded like a plea.

"I have a gun," Emily said matter-of-factly. "Why don't you go back to your room and have some rest, JJ? Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," the older woman said. She couldn't tear her eyes away from JJ's begging expression. The brunette put her hand on JJ's shoulder and unconsciously pulling the shorter woman to a quick hug. "I'll be fine," she ensured JJ again.

JJ didn't expect the hug and she blushed slightly. Being in Emily's arm felt like the most natural thing in the world, and JJ didn't want to let go. She was a bit sorry that the hug was brief. "Call me when you're back?"

The profiler chuckled. "You must be asleep when I get back. Why don't I see you tomorrow?" Emily suggested.

"No, call me," JJ insisted. "I won't be able to sleep if I don't know you're back and safe." The blonde smiled when Emily gave in and promised to call her soon as the brunette came back. JJ turned away and headed to her room, fighting the urge to pull the older woman into another hug.

She had tried avoiding Emily – for the sake of not having her heart broken by the other woman; the first woman she had fallen in love with – but it just didn't work. Avoiding Emily was stupid. JJ felt so stupid for even trying. Emily Prentiss was irresistible and JJ was done resisting. _Now if only she still loves me_... JJ wondered.

***

The weather was cool outside and Emily enjoyed the cool breeze. It had been some time since the last time she had a good run and Emily liked it. At first she had kept a slower pace, wanting to save up her energy for a marathon. She quickened her pace after a while, when rush of thoughts flooding her mind – thoughts she wanted to run away from.

Images of the victims flashed in front of her eyes and she was nearly drawn to tears. Emily let out a small sob before swallowing back her tears, feeling the burn of unshed tears in her throat. The victims are relatively young; she was older than them all. It was painful to think of how one was made to see his or her spouse being tortured alive and at the same time knowing that after the killer had finished with the other person he would do the same to them. It was scary; it was sick, and Emily wanted to throw up.

The brunette picked up her speed, not letting herself to be carried away with the feelings; she had to save it for later – when she returned to the safety of her own house, her own fortress. Then her mind drifted away to another thought – JJ – and Emily wished she had confronted the earlier thought instead of having this one.

The worry in JJ's words earlier had made her heart flutter in happiness. Their friendship had become a little bit cold for some time, and it was nice to know that JJ still cared about her. Emily had been wondering if her stupid 'coming out' a few months earlier was the reason why JJ had been pulling away from her – but everything was fine until about a couple of months ago; and Emily couldn't stop thinking where on the way it had gone wrong.

Emily stopped running after another mile or two only to realise that she had ended up somewhere she didn't recognize. The brunette cursed and turned back. She slightly touched the inside pocket of her pants, making sure that her gun was still there. Her heart was beating fast when she realised how dark it was around her.

"This is great," she muttered exasperatedly as she started to run back, hoping that she didn't look lost. She put on her best Prentiss face and moved as quickly as possible. She regretted not taking her phone with her – but she didn't think she would need a phone while jogging. "Stupid Prentiss," she panted heavily as she ran. She was sure her body would ache so bad in the morning, but it was the least of her worries at the moment.

A rustling sound behind the bushes at the other side of the sidewalk alerted her and Emily instinctively reached for the gun on her hip. She contemplated between stopping and checking what the sound was, or keep running. She decided on the latter and sped up. Emily didn't really pay attention on where she was going, and she tripped. The tall woman tumbled on the street.

Emily groaned as she felt a sharp pain on her ankle when she tried to stand up. She sat on the sidewalk, checking how bad the sprain was. The brunette looked around. The road was empty and dimly lighted. Emily listened closely and was ready to draw her gun out when she heard the sound of someone going through the bushes. The brunette let out a relieved sigh when she saw who – or rather, what – it was. A stray dog came out of the bushes, looking at her, and walked away. She couldn't suppress a chuckle and felt a drop of tears fell from her eyes as she laughed. She didn't know if she laughed because she was relieved or if it was out of her frustration.

She tried to stand up again, with more success this time, and hobbled down the road slowly; her hand was still fixed on her gun, ready if anything should happen. The agent was relieved when she got into a more lighted area with more people. She stopped to catch her breath then continued walking to the hotel, ignoring the pain on her ankle.

Emily was surprised when she saw JJ at the lobby, sitting alone. The blonde spotted Emily and immediately rushed to Emily's side, helping the older woman to the nearest sofa.

"Emily, what happened?" JJ asked, panicked. "Are you hurt? Do you need to see a doctor?" The blonde put a blanket she had prepared before around Emily's shoulder to keep the woman warm. She was worried; Emily looked very pale and it seemed that the woman had scraped her face. JJ could see blood on Emily's sweatshirt up on the elbow area, and JJ suspected that the brunette had fallen pretty hard.

"I'm okay, Jayj. What are you doing up so late?" Emily asked, changing the subject. She didn't want to make her friend worry about her. "It's just a scratch."

"It's not just a _scratch_, Emily! Look at you," JJ's voice raised a pitch as she pointed out. "You can't even walk normally, and this," the younger woman unconsciously lifted her hand and brushed Emily's cheek where it bruised and scraped, "this look far from just a scratch."

Emily shivered at the touch of JJ's hand against her skin, enthralled by the softness and warmth. Her stomach fluttered and she wanted to lean in to the touch. JJ saw Emily shiver and she thought the other woman was ill. The blonde put her hand on Emily's forehead, checking the older woman's temperature. Feeling that Emily's temperature was normal, the younger woman sighed in relief. She removed her hand from Emily's face and a sudden emptiness filled her. She missed the feel of Emily's skin against hers.

"Come on, Emily, let's get you cleaned up," the blonde said. JJ helped Emily get on her feet and put an arm around Emily's shoulder. "I got you."

***

They got to their floor. Emily reached into her pocket to take her key but she couldn't find it. She groaned loudly as she remembered that the key was left inside her wallet, which – of course – she didn't take with her. _Great!_ she thought.

"What?" JJ asked. "What's wrong?"

"I left my key inside the room," Emily replied sullenly. She felt so stupid. "Can I..." she couldn't finish her sentence. _Can I stay in your room tonight?_ sounded like a little too much to ask for. Emily blushed at the thought of spending a night in JJ's room. It wasn't like they hadn't shared a room during a case before; but this would be the first time they stayed in the same room after Emily sort of confession a few months back. Emily thought it would be so awkward.

"Of course you can, Emily. You don't have to ask. Do you think I will let you spend the night on the hall?" she said with a smile. JJ led Emily to her room. She laughed when Emily said that if JJ wouldn't let her sleep in, Emily would spend the night in the lobby with the prospect of being thrown out by the guards.

JJ bathed Emily's wound with water and she put on some ice to Emily's ankle to help with the swelling. Then she handed the older woman a wet towel to wipe the dirt and dried sweat away. Emily did it very slowly. She was practically dozing off when she felt JJ's cool hand against her cheek, patting her slowly.

The profiler opened her eyes reluctantly. JJ's face was only inches from hers and Emily's heart beat faster. JJ was looking at her with such intensity and the brunette felt hypnotised. She lowered her gaze and regretted it at once when her gaze landed on JJ's lips. Emily swallowed hard. She so didn't need this right now.

"Hey, sorry to wake you up," JJ whispered. Her voice was unusually low and husky. "You can't sleep with that dirty shirt. Come on, let's get you change into something clean." The blonde handed Emily a t-shirt.

Emil mumbled something about being too tired to move so JJ helped the woman change. The press liaison's cheek reddened in deep blush when she saw Emily's exposed skin. She tried her best effort not to look at the marble skin as she put the t-shirt on the brunette. She then covered the older woman with a blanket, resisting the urge of leaning down and kissing Emily on the cheek.

She sighed audibly as she lay down next to the brunette. She doubted she could sleep with Emily so close so she just lay there with her eyes open.

"JJ?" Emily's whisper made the blonde jumped. JJ thought Emily was already asleep. Before the younger woman could respond, Emily had continued, "What did I do wrong? You've been avoiding me."

Emily's tired voice sounded so raw on JJ's ear, and the blonde didn't know how to respond. The words hurt her, because she knew that she was the one to blame for the sadness in Emily's voice. She took a deep breath. "I just..." she began, "I... I just don't know what I should do with you, I suppose." She chose her words carefully, "I don't know what to do with our friendship, Emily. Everything is just not as easy as it used to be. It's different now. I'm..." _in love with you now_. JJ managed to stop herself from saying those words out loud. She didn't know what good would it make if she uttered those words. How would she react if Emily asked her to move on with their relationship? How would she react if Emily said that she wasn't interested in JJ anymore? No, JJ couldn't take the risk.

Emily replied with a weak "Oh." Then the woman added, "I'm sorry." Her voice sounded so tired and dejected that JJ wondered what was wrong.

_Oh shit_! JJ gasped. Emily must have taken her earlier words as a rejection. She sat up straight, looking at the other woman, loathing herself to the bones. "Em, I didn't mean... Emily, please don't get me wrong; what I meant is..." she tried to explain. When there was no response, she leaned closer and saw Emily was fast asleep. She stared at the older woman in astonishment. They were in the middle of a serious talk and Emily had fallen asleep! But then again, JJ understood that Emily must have been tired. JJ lay back down and closed her eyes. She hoped that Emily wouldn't remember anything at all when the woman woke up in the morning.

***

_A couple of days later:_

"Prentiss, do you know what you did is completely unnecessary and not to mention very dangerous?" Hotch roared in the police station after the raid to the Unsub's warehouse. The unit chief was very angry at Emily for being so careless.

Emily rubbed her forehead. A bruise started to form on it, adding to the other bruise she had from the fall a couple of day before. "Sorry Hotch, I wasn't thinking," she said.

"That's pretty clear you weren't," Hotch snapped. "Do you realize you almost got yourself killed? And you almost got Adams killed as well?"

The brunette whipped up her head and looked at Hotch in horror as his words sank in. It was okay if she endangered herself – but she didn't mean to endanger anybody else's life. She glanced outside through the glass pane at McKenzie who was talking with Morgan and Reid, one of her arms was on a sling. Emily swallowed hard; she was the reason why McKenzie's arm was on a sling. She felt guilty for endangering her friend. And worse, she felt guilty for still being thankful that it was McKenzie that had gotten hurt instead of JJ.

Seeing that his points were taken, Hotch sighed. He realized that the woman before him had been unusually driven on the case, but he didn't know why. "Are you okay?" the man finally asked. Emily looked beaten – her face bruised; and she was still limping.

Emily nodded weakly. "Yeah," she replied. "Yeah, I'm okay." She waited for Hotch to scold her more, and she was surprised when he patted her on the shoulder instead.

"Then I'm glad. Other than that carelessness of yours, you did a great job out there, Prentiss," the older man said. "Get some rest now. We're leaving in three hours."

***

McKenzie was by far the most carefree woman JJ had ever known. JJ couldn't believe how the redhead could see the raid incident as a joke. McKenzie had even said that she was going to tattoo her arm near the deep gash that would surely leave a scar.

"'BAU print', how cool does that sound?" she bragged proudly.

JJ could still hear Reid asking her if she was serious with it. The green-eyed agent just laughed, but somehow JJ was sure that the other woman was really going to do it.

"Oy Blondie, sulky much?" McKenzie called out to JJ as the press liaison walked past the threesome. She left the two men and followed JJ to the desk. "What's with the long face, Jay?"

JJ frowned. She hated being called 'blondie'. She had always considered the word an insult – a hateful derogatory generalisation created by an inferior someone who thought that they were superior. Surprisingly, though, she didn't find it insulting when McKenzie said it. "What happened isn't funny, McKenzie," JJ stated grimly.

The redhead chuckled. "Ah, don't be so serious, JJ. It was nothing," she said. McKenzie saw JJ glance at Emily and that the younger woman's expression was getting grimmer. McKenzie sighed; she softened at the look on JJ's face. "Hey," she said. "If you're so worried about Emily, why don't you tell her so?" The blonde widened her eyes at McKenzie comment and the red-haired woman shook her head. "It's a bit scary, isn't it, how deep you've fallen for her?" she asked. JJ didn't answer. McKenzie shook her head; she looked rather amused. "Both of you," she continued, pointing at JJ and Emily, "are stupid." She walked away, muttering, "Why in the world do I always make friends with stupid people?" so loud that JJ could still hear her.

The blonde glanced at Emily; the brunette was sitting alone with her head hung low. JJ sighed; she felt as if millions of stones were weighing her heart. She didn't know how to start talking again to the older woman after the disastrous conversation a couple of night earlier. She knew Emily was avoiding her, too. Talking to Emily would be a difficult task, if not impossible.

***

"What are you doing here, JJ?" Emily asked, surprised to see JJ at the door in the middle of the night. To JJ's relief, Emily didn't sound irritated at all. "Come on in," Emily invited her. "I'm helping Kenzie pack her stuff. The sooner she finishes packing, the sooner she leaves my house," she explained jokingly.

"Emma, I couldn't find my... oh, never mind," McKenzie stopped midsentence when she saw JJ. The redhead smiled at JJ and waved at the two. "Talk," she said in an authoritative tone. "I'll go back to my nest. Seriously, people: talk!" she said. With that she went upstairs.

Emily smiled awkwardly at JJ but said nothing other than offering the younger woman to sit down and asking if she wanted something to drink.

"'_Emma_', huh?" JJ enquired, quite amused to know that Emily had a nickname. She saw Emily blush a little. "It's kind of cute. Why don't you tell me you have such a nice nickname?"

"Because the only person that calls me that is Kenz," Emily replied. "So what brings you to my door?"

Now it was JJ turn to blush. She didn't know how to begin. She had been arranging her words carefully on her way to Emily's house, but everything she had prepared was gone the moment she saw Emily. And now words were stumbling in her mind and she didn't know what to say first. She glanced at the older woman and saw that Emily was waiting patiently for her to say something. So she opened her mouth and said, "Emily, do you still love me?"

Emily was flabbergasted to hear those words from JJ. That was the last thing she expected to hear. From the shocked look on JJ's face, Emily knew that the blonde didn't intend to say those words either.

JJ thought that she had no more chance with Emily when the brunette just sat opposite her, staring with her mouth open, without saying anything. She felt stupid and embarrassed and she wanted to leave Emily. She stood up and began to walk to the door when she felt a strong hand grabbing her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" Emily asked softly. "I haven't given you my answer." The brunette nudged JJ, asking her to face her. "What kind of question was that, Jennifer Jareau?"

"I... that didn't come out right," JJ replied weakly. Emily's hand was still on her arm, burning her skin. "I wanted to... I came to... I mean, I really wanted to...," JJ couldn't finish her sentence. She felt her heart beat faster. Finally she gave up on trying making a coherent sentence so she just shook her head.

Emily chuckled. "A press liaison and you can't even answer a simple question," the woman stated. Then she looked into JJ's blue eyes with such intensity that could burn down the house. Her voice was dangerously low when she spoke, "Yes." And Emily raised her other hand and brushed a strand of hair from JJ's cheek. "I never stop loving you, JJ."

JJ was at loss of words. Emily's soft words warmed her heart. "I...," again, JJ couldn't bring herself to say '_I love you_'. The blonde pulled Emily into a hug and cried her heart out. She was grateful when Emily didn't pull away but hugged her back and let her cry, whispering soothing words. When the sob had subsided, JJ finally said, "I thought I was going to lose you; McKenzie is so perfect – you two look awesome together. She is..."

"A very dear friend," Emily cut JJ off. "She was never more than a very close friend to me. If I ever had feelings for another person back then, it wasn't her," she ensured JJ. Emily contemplated for a second whether she should continue or not before finally decided to lay all her cards on the table. "I fell for her sister; and nothing had happened between us, either – Mandy was, is, straight."

The press liaison couldn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She felt for Emily – it must have been tough, falling for someone who didn't love you back. And JJ almost made Emily experience the feeling again. "I'm sorry Emily," JJ whispered. "I'm sorry for what happened between you and her then; and I'm sorry for hurting you now."

Emily smiled on JJ's hair. "It's okay, JJ. I'm okay," she whispered. She kissed the top of JJ's head unconsciously, feeling that it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I'm in love with you, you know?" JJ stated nonchalantly. She thought she was talking to herself, but she knew she had said it out loud when she felt Emily's body stiffen. She looked up to meet Emily's brown eyes, panicking. She backed away from the hug, trying to run away again, but Emily had none of it anymore.

"Stop running away from me, JJ," the brunette pleaded desperately. She understood how confused and lost JJ must have been – JJ had never been in love with a woman before, and Emily could swear that the other woman hadn't thought about falling in love to a woman, either. "I've waited long enough for you to stop running. If you don't want anything to do with our feelings for each other, all you need to do is say it. You said you weren't going anywhere; that you wouldn't run away from me, from my feelings, but to be honest I've never felt as distant from you as I am now!"

"I...," JJ stopped. _What do I want?_ she asked herself. JJ was scared; she was scared her own feelings, unsure of what was going to happen next, worried that everything would fall apart. JJ was scared of what the future might hold for her and Emily. She took a glance at Emily realised how crestfallen and broken-hearted Emily had looked and all her fears flew away. She cupped Emily's face and kissed the woman on the mouth without thinking. It was a brief kiss, but JJ felt butterflies on her stomach.

They looked at each other wordlessly. No need for words. The kiss had answered everything. Upstairs, lying on her stomach on the carpeted floor, McKenzie shook her head and grinned. She had been listening all the time – the closing of the door was a faux. "Stupid people," she muttered to herself. She was glad that she got to see everything before she left. _At least now I have closure_, she thought bitterly.

The red-haired woman stood up and returned as quietly as possible to her own room. She then turned her radio, loud enough to hide any sound of crying she made from the happy twosome downstairs.

.

"_I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want those words may forever stay in my heart-locked I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know."_

-Anonymous-


	4. Slipping Away

**a/n: I am in major writer's block due to things that happened to me irl, but I finally managed to kick myself to write something. It's a real sappy (not to mention crappy) story, but at least I start writing again. I hope you enjoy it anyway. :)**

**This has nothing to do with the previous chapters. A completely different story.  
**

**Anyway, this is un-betaed, so pardon me if there's some mistakes in grammar and spelling.  
**

**Disclaimer: not mine  
**

* * *

Emily emptied her sixth glass in one big gulp. She leaned her head against the wooden counter table in front of her – it felt cool on her burning skin. Her face was blushed by the heat of alcohol in her blood and she was dizzy.

She didn't move when someone brushed past her and took the empty seat next to her. She glanced up and scoffed when she saw who the person was. It must have been her imagination. It was two o'clock in the morning and the person she saw couldn't have been real. Besides, Emily knew for sure that the bartender wouldn't let anyone sit next to her without saying anything. The bartender was Emily's friend and he always made sure that the brunette got home safe.

"It's kind of late for another drink, isn't it?" the person next to her said softly when Emily poured herself another glass of whiskey.

"Why do you care, you're not even real," Emily barked back. She must have been very drunk that she saw things.

"Oh, yes. I am so real," replied the person.

Emily shrugged and took a big gulp. "Whatever," she said. "Everyone looks like JJ these days," she added with a dejected tone.

The woman next to her smiled. "And how is that possible?" she asked. "And I really think you should stop drinking now."

Emily stared at the pair of bright blue eyes in front of her – challenging the owner to snatch the half-empty bottle she was holding. "God, you really look like JJ," she whispered in a sad tone. She put the bottle back on the counter without pouring any more liquid to her glass. "Name's Emily, by the way," she introduced herself voluntarily. When the woman in front of her opened her mouth to say something, Emily cut her off, "No, I don't want to know your name. You'll be JJ tonight."

Before they could say anything else, the band on the stage started playing a song. The bar was closing up and they were the only people that were still there. The two women sat and listened to the song.

_I said I wouldn't cry  
The day you say goodbye  
It's not like I'll never see you again  
I guess the things you need  
You just can't get from me  
But you still can reach out to me now and then_

_My head is spinning round  
All my defences down  
I have held the world in my hands  
But I can't keep you from slipping away,_

_If time will show me grace  
And you to a better place  
Then I can live knowing it wasn't in vain  
It hurts so much to know when love means letting go  
And no one can tell me that they've felt my pain_

_No strength can stop you now  
Will someone show me how  
How to live it over again  
'cause I can't keep you from slipping away_

_I will never break your power over me  
I could never shake the thought of you burning in my mind  
You're all I see_

By the end of the song, Emily had cried silently. Tears fell uncontrollably from her eyes and she had stop trying to wipe them off of her face. "You left me," Emily said accusingly at the woman beside her. She didn't care if it wasn't JJ; she just needed to let it out. "I had never wished I were a man before you told me that you wanted it over because you were pregnant – with the detective. You said you had nothing to do with him just a couple of months before."

The blonde next to her reached out and wiped the tears off of Emily's face without saying a word. She knew there was nothing she could say to make the woman in front of her feel better. She sighed.

"Do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face at work? Do you know how much I suffer every time I see you? Do you know how many times I want to end everything so I don't have to see your face again?" Emily whispered.

The profiler had been fragile since her relationship with JJ ended. She had been putting a lot of efforts to go to work every single day – sober on the outside and numb on the inside. She had only let her facade down at night, when she would go to the pub and drink her heart out.

The pub had been the witness of her broken heart. She was there when baby Henry was born; she was there on the first day JJ came back to work – and she was there every single night whenever they had no cases to solve. It had been her second home.

"She doesn't deserve you, Emily," the woman replied.

Emily shook her head. "I don't deserve her," she said. "If I did, she wouldn't run away with the first guy she saw." She was no longer addressing the woman in front of her as JJ. "I can't offer her anything but shame. She never wanted it out – our relationship. I suppose I should have thought that something was not right about it. Now she doesn't have to hide anymore. She has a perfect life – a fiancé, and a baby boy."

"Maybe she was just afraid then, but then she got pregnant when she had started to overcome her fear," the blonde tried to reason. "You are a very dear woman, Emily. No one would intentionally hurt you."

The brunette grew silent. She was too tired to think. She leaned against the woman's shoulder. "Take me home with you. I don't want to be alone tonight," she whispered.

The blonde put her arm around the brunette and led the way. She carefully fastened Emily's seatbelt and drove away. The brunette mumbled the address of her house. And when she glanced at the woman's dashboard she frowned. "You don't have a GPS," she stated.

"No, I don't. I happen not to trust GPS very much; not to mention the danger of leaving an accessible info about your address on the dashboard," the blonde replied.

Emily chuckled. "Smart," she said, agreeing. She watched as the woman she kept seeing as JJ smiled back at her before starting the ignition. Emily gave the blonde the directions to her house. It was not far from the pub and soon they were there.

The two women reached Emily's apartment with a lot of efforts as Emily was almost unconscious. The blonde took Emily to her bedroom and lay beside the brunette.

Emily felt a brief kiss on her cheek and she started to cry again. "I love you, JJ," she whispered before giving away to the deep slumber.

JJ held Emily tight for a few more minutes before placing a tender kiss on the brunette's lips. She stroke Emily's hair and got up. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I love you, too, Emily," she whispered back to the sleeping woman.

The press liaison picked up her belongings and left Emily with a crushed heart. Every night – every single night she would go to the pub to pick Emily up, and every single night she would see Emily in this drunken state, listen to the heart wrenching words, take the brunette home, and leave her alone only to have the cycle repeated the next day.

She had made her choice – a life with her parents' approval; a life without Emily Prentiss – and now she had to live with it.

JJ took a deep breath as she drove away from Emily's apartment, bracing herself to go to her own house and face her real life. _Tomorrow night_, she thought_, tomorrow night will be different_.

And that was her thought the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that.

* * *

**a/n: The song is Slipping Away by Richard Marx. Google it, Youtube it, it is a beautiful song. Sad, but beautiful.**


	5. Just A First Date

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Would I kick AJ and Paget out of the picture if it were mine? *grumbles***

**A/N: Hello! It's been quite a while since I wrote any Em/JJ stories (it's been quite a while since I wrote anything, period). I hope I didn't mess up with the characters and all.**

**This is a sorta kinda sequel for my old story 'Can't Go Back Now' but I think you don't have to read that one first to understand this one. I still don't know if I am going to be able to continue this story, so I put it on my oneshots folder. **

**This work is unbeta'd. My beta is currently swamped with her finals and my other story so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

**I'm going to shut up now.

* * *

**

**...  
**

The clock struck seven. Jennifer Jareau had been pacing nervously in her living room for a good half an hour now. She kept on throwing anxious glances at the door, chewing her lower lip as she did so.

Millions of thought raced through her mind, tumbling one after another. She reprimanded herself for thinking too many absurdities but it was like her mind had a will of its own and the thoughts poured out anyway. _This is ridiculous, _she thought, _what was I thinking? What if I mess up? What if this doesn't work? What if I can't_...

The soft buzz of the doorbell interrupted her musing. JJ stopped on her tracks, gazing at the door helplessly – suddenly wishing that she could turn back time so she would still have time to herself. She waited a second for the beating of her heart to return to normal before walking to the door. The blonde unlocked the door and swung it open without looking at the peephole first. She knew who was coming – the person she had been waiting for was very punctual like clockwork.

JJ's breath caught at the sight of the person at the door. Emily Prentiss looked stunning in her casual attire – a black turtleneck and a pair of tight-fitting jeans, with matching boots. JJ smiled shyly when Emily greeted her with a broad smile and offered her a bouquet of white orchids. The media liaison was touched with the choice of flowers Emily brought her. She knew how meticulous Emily was and she also knew that Emily knew what the flowers meant.

"Eh... hi," JJ greeted groggily as she accepted the flowers, "come on in." The blonde stepped aside to make a way for Emily. "Thanks for the flower," she said as the older woman walked past her. The blonde shuddered when she felt Emily's upper arm brushed her shoulder, leaving the part tingling with warm, unfamiliar – but not unpleasant – sensation.

Emily Prentiss stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room. She looked at JJ appreciatively, thinking about how beautiful the younger woman was. She thought that JJ acted a bit odd but she put the idea aside, thinking that it might be out of nervousness. It was going to be the first time they went out together as more than just friend – she wasn't sure if she should call it their first date – so it was normal for JJ to feel uncomfortable.

The two women stood across of each other, smiling shyly at each other, neither was sure where to start.

Emily, being Emily, broke the silence first. "Where's Henry?" she asked about JJ's little boy. She had been hoping to meet the baby before they went for dinner, but Henry was nowhere to be seen.

"He's at Will's," JJ replied, visibly grateful that Emily spoke first. She then realized that they were still standing. "Oh my, how rude of me! Sit down, Emily," JJ exclaimed. "I... I'll just go put these in a vase and grab my purse. I won't be long," she rambled.

The profiler sat down and smiled at the other woman. "Hey, JJ," she called out softly. JJ looked at her. "It's just me," Emily said, "relax."

The words worked like magic. JJ felt lighter instantly. She managed to return Emily's smile before running to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. She then went to her room to get her purse, stopping in front of the mirror on the way out. Satisfied with what she saw, she gave her reflection a nod of approval then headed out.

"Did I mention that you look impeccable tonight?" Emily asked idly as they walked to the door.

JJ turned her head at Emily. A blush crept to her cheeks. "Thank you," she said. "You are beautiful yourself, Emily Prentiss."

Emily grinned. "Come on, then. We're going to be late," she changed topic.

"Where are we going?" JJ asked as she remembered that Emily didn't mention anything about where they are heading.

Shrugging, Emily replied lightly, "Oh, just some place." She winked at her companion. "You're going to like it."

...

Emily was right. JJ liked the place. A lot. It was a cozy little Italian restaurant. The building was made of stone with high ceiling and a real fireplace. JJ beamed when the maitre'd led them to their table at the far corner of the room, right by the fireplace. There were several other tables occupied but the tables around them were empty.

Soon the two agents were busy with the menu. Emily, who obviously was a frequent customer of the restaurant, voluntarily pointed out several of her favorite dishes. It didn't go unnoticed by JJ that some of the food Emily mentioned was JJ's favorite as well. JJ finally settled with pizzelle fritte for appetizer and spaghetti puttanesca for main course. She frowned when at Emily's choice of meal.

"You only have _soup_ for dinner?" JJ questioned after the waiter had left them.

The dark woman chuckled softly. "It has rice in it, Jayj," she explained. "I'm not going to starve myself," she added. She knew JJ was referring to their last case, when Emily was a mess as the profiler was trying to push JJ away. It felt like a lifetime away.

The blonde smiled as a response. She gazed the room. "How did you find this place?"

"Mother took me here with one of her fancy friends. Why? Do you like it?"

"Like it?" JJ raised her eyebrows. "I _love_ it. This place is perfect, Em. Thank you," she said.

"Honey, you haven't even tried the food yet," Emily commented.

On hearing the term of endearment, JJ blushed. She was sure that her cheeks were as red as a ripe tomato. She ducked her head low, letting her long hair fell to the sides of her face like a curtain.

Emily mentally smacked herself for being so stupid. She shouldn't have used terms of endearments with JJ; she was perfectly aware that JJ was still uncomfortable of the idea of their being together. She should have known better. Yes, they were used to the pet names – but that was before everything was complicated. That was before Emily admitted her feelings for the blonde and before she knew her feelings were reciprocated.

"Sorry about that," Emily apologized.

JJ's head whipped upwards. "No, Emily. I don't mind, really," she explained. JJ took a deep breath. "It's just that... well, I guess I'm not used to you calling me that yet after we – you know? Well, it's silly. But really, I don't mind at all," she elucidated. She paused then added, "I think it's sweet."

Now it was Emily's turn to blush. She mumbled a thank you. Before they could say another thing, their food arrived. Emily watched as JJ took the first bite of her food and the dark-haired federal agent's face lightened up when JJ seemed to like what she ate.

They bantered easily during dinner. It was an enjoyable evening and JJ was a bit disappointed when it was getting late and they had to leave. The media liaison raised her eyebrows when Emily simply told the waiter to put the bill on _her_ tabs. Somehow she had a feeling that the amazing meal she had just had earlier cost more that she, JJ, could afford. She started to feel uneasy. She glanced at the other woman but Emily kept a straight face.

It was cold outside, the wind was blowing and JJ's coat was too light to protect her from the strong breeze. As if reading her mind, Emily moved closer to JJ, providing warmth and comfort. JJ tilted her head to see the taller woman next to her; she was surprised to see that Emily was also looking at her. It was amazing how their minds connected to each other.

"So," Emily began as they approached the car, "I hope you enjoyed the food, Jennifer Jareau." The taller woman opened the door for her companion and waited till JJ properly sat down and buckled up.

"Yes, thank you, Miss Prentiss," JJ responded. "Any chance of returning here soon?" she asked innocently. JJ knew she was fishing and she hoped that Emily didn't notice.

Apparently, Emily didn't notice. She laughed heartily. "If you like it _that_ much, I will cook it for you," she promised. She closed the door and went to the driver side of the car.

"I didn't know you cook Italian food!"

"I lived in Italy when I was a teenager; it's no big deal," Emily shrugged.

"Exactly in how many countries did you spend your childhood?" JJ was really interested now. Emily hardly ever mentioned about her childhood to the team and JJ was curious.

JJ saw Emily's dark orbs flashed with something – discomfort, JJ assumed – but it was gone in a blink. Emily mentioned several countries in the Middle East and Europe but the profiler didn't elaborate. Knowing that she had touched a quite sensitive subject, JJ backed down. She didn't want to ruin a perfect night with something that might have nothing to do with the present. She wouldn't lie by saying that she didn't think about it, though.

...

The ride home was unusually quiet. Emily tried to make a conversation but JJ's one-word answers didn't actually lead the conversation anywhere, so after a few futile attempts Emily decided that JJ wanted to be left to herself.

Emily was befuddled as to the reason why JJ's mood suddenly changed. She couldn't help but replaying all their earlier conversation in her head and tried to see if she missed something – she didn't find anything.

Glancing sideways at the now quiet Emily, JJ somehow felt guilty. She reached out and took Emily's hand in her own smaller one. She threw the older woman a – what she hoped to be – reassuring smile. It seemed to work as the blonde saw the crease on Emily's forehead softened.

When they reached JJ's building, Emily insisted that she would see JJ to the door. JJ laughed at the idea until she realized that Emily was serious.

She looked at the woman she cared about incredulously. "I will be fine, Emily," she tried to convinced Emily.

"I know," replied Emily, "but it will make me feel better if I see that you arrive safely at home. Humor me." The profiler was adamant.

And so JJ let her companion accompany her to the door. She shook her head when Emily stood behind her protectively while she opened her apartment door. To say the truth, JJ liked it – it had been quite a while since she felt well taken care of by anyone. Of course Will had been great to her, but he couldn't be compared to Emily.

"I'm home now," JJ pointed out.

"I can see that," countered Emily. "Well, goodnight then."

Emily was about to turn around when JJ called out her name. She waited. "Thank you for tonight, Emily. It's wonderful and I had fun," JJ thanked the other woman.

"I'm glad," Emily replied.

"And... Em?"

Emily stopped. She tilted her head, confused.

JJ lowered her head, avoiding Emily's intense gaze. Softly, almost whispering, she asked, "Did... didn't I get a kiss?"

The profiler was surprised by JJ's request. She took a step forward and very gently she circled JJ's waist with her strong arm, pulling the smaller woman closer. They were standing so close with each other that both of them could feel the warmth of each other's breathing.

Slowly, Emily dipped her head. It felt like forever before JJ could feel a pair of soft lips touched her own. JJ breathed in the sweet scent of Emily as they kissed. The scent was intoxicating, as intoxicating as the kiss was and JJ felt lightheaded. Every cell in her body screamed in protest when their lips parted.

JJ wanted more. And from the fire on Emily's eyes, she knew Emily wanted it too. But they weren't ready. She wasn't ready. So, reluctantly, JJ let go of her hold. "Goodnight, Emily," she whispered on the profiler's lips.

"You have a goodnight yourself, Jennifer," Emily whispered back. It was really difficult to leave her Jennifer, but Emily knew it was a wise thing to do. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

...

JJ couldn't sleep that night despite her exhaustion. She couldn't stop thinking about the evening she just spent with her co-worker. If JJ wanted to be honest, she would say that it was the best 'first date' she had ever experienced since she graduated from college. Emily was a perfect date and JJ was flattered that the older woman treated her like a princess.

The blonde glanced at the orchids on her bedside table. It was so sweet of Emily – and so subtle of her – to express her love to JJ with white orchids. She wasn't an expert in flowers, but she knew that one of the meanings of white orchids was delicate beauty, or purity. _Is it how Emily sees me?_ she thought. JJ didn't even realize that she was smiling.

She rolled to the other side of the bed, facing away from the flowers. JJ let her mind wandered as she started to feel a little sleepy. As she drifted to the land of sleep, she remembered something. Her eyes fluttered open.

It was something that bothered her earlier that night, when they were at the restaurant. She had tried to push the matter aside; it had been easy to do with Emily by her side. But now the unpleasant thoughts came back to haunt her after she was left alone. JJ remembered the looks the other customers were throwing her and Emily. Some of them looked curious and that was all. But some other seemed to give them a disapproving look, and a few seemed to look at them with contempt and disgust. JJ didn't like to be stared at that way – it disturbed her.

JJ knew that she might be imagining it; there was no way in the world could those people know that Emily and JJ were a couple. Nevertheless, it made her think. What would people say about her if they found out that she was with Emily now? What would people think about her? And the team, even though Garcia had known about it – and she believed that Hotch had, too – what would they think? What if they thought less of her professionalism because she decided to be in a relationship with someone on the team? And what about her family? It hit her hard. JJ shivered at the thought of her family knowing about this.

She shook her head violently and buried her under the pillow. The blonde felt so alone and lost. She didn't want her family to know. She didn't want the rest of the team to know. And she didn't want other people to know. JJ was started to be unsure of herself, of her decision. _Maybe this isn't right_, she thought.

JJ didn't sleep a wink that night.

..

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the ride.**

**A/N 2: White orchids meaning: purity, delicate beauty. And if someone gives you a white orchid, be flattered, people, because they wanted to say that they loved you and that they were thinking about you.**


	6. One Moment More

**A/N: WARNING! This chapter contains a spoiler for the last episode, Lauren (6x18). The setting took place right after the last scene. So if you haven't watched it and don't want to be spoiled, please don't read it. **

**I, again, am feeling a tad depressed lately so I decided to write something that suits my mood at the moment. It's somewhat a drabble and I know that Emily and JJ are really OOC in this chapter; forgive me for that. I'm not satisfied with this chapter, too many things left unsaid and undone, imo. But I hope you'll bear with me, though.  
**

**This chapter is unbeta'ed. All mistakes are mine and mine only. English is not my first language so you can expect many errors in it. If you find weird grammatical rules, spelling, phrases and expressions that need fixing, please be kind and tell me about it. I will fix it.**

**Okay, one more thing before I silence myself: The chapter is inspired by a song by Mindy Smith called "One Moment More".  
**

**Disclaimer: it belongs to those people who can't even appreciate awesome actresses like AJ Cook and Paget Brewster.**

.

**

* * *

**

"Thank you," the woman replied when she received the bundle with passports in it. She stroked the surface of the bundle before inserting it to her large handbag.

"Good luck," JJ whispered – the words caught in her throat as she tried to swallow the tears.

She watched longingly as the tall brunette offered her a weak smile before taking her leave, leaving JJ at the table without even looking back once. The blonde couldn't tear her eyes off the retreating figure even though watching the other woman went away was the last thing she wanted.

The blonde took a deep breath; waiting for her heart to stop hurting, waiting so badly for the pain to subside – or at least become numb – but the farther away the other woman moved from her, the greater was the pain. JJ closed her eyes briefly before opening it again hastily. She didn't want to miss every second she had to see the tall woman. Who knew when JJ would be seeing her again? _Maybe not in this lifetime_, she thought. She immediately regretted the thought, though.

And against her better judgements, or rather, before her brain could register what she was doing, JJ was already on her feet, frantically walking to the direction where the woman had left earlier. It was dark and there were a lot of people on the street. JJ looked around, hoping that she hadn't lost sight of the other woman. When she began to get frustrated, she saw a glimpse of her.

JJ ran after her, in her heels, in the middle of a cold evening in Paris. It wasn't until she was a couple of steps away from the woman did JJ call out to her, "Emily! Wait!"

The dark haired woman stopped in her tracks upon hearing the name. But what surprised her more was the voice calling out that name. She turned around, thinking that she was hallucinating. But she wasn't. Jennifer Jareau was walking at her direction; her bright blue eyes pleaded her not to walk away.

So she waited.

There was no hesitation when JJ opened her arms and pulled the older woman into her embrace. She could feel the dark woman stiffened under her touch, but JJ didn't care. She breathed in the sweet scent of the woman, relishing the moment of being able to hold her.

"Don't go, Emily, please," JJ whispered in her ears.

Dark orbs stared at JJ's blue eyes and JJ could see the inner struggle in them. "Don't," the woman whispered back.

"Em..."

"JJ!" the woman spoke with a harsher tone. "Emily Prentiss is dead," she said as if chanting a mantra to herself, "There is no more Emily Prentiss."

The blonde felt as if she was slapped. "You are not dead," JJ retorted, carefully dropping the name at the end of her sentence.

The woman laughed bitterly and JJ could hear a hint of frustrated sob in the chuckle. "Who am I, JJ? Who am I?" she asked. "I'm nobody – I don't even have a name now."

JJ shook her head vigorously. "So what? You can be Emily, you can be Lauren..." The flinch didn't go unnoticed by the blonde at the mention of the latter name. "You can be anyone you like and for me you're just you. For all of us, you are just you!" JJ emphasized the last sentence on purpose. She felt the body in her arms relaxed and JJ tightened her grip.

"What do you want, Jennifer?" The voice was devoid of energy that JJ wanted to cry right there and then. And Emi – this woman – calling her Jennifer made JJ almost come undone. "What do you want from me?"

Again, JJ shook her head. She rested her cheek on the woman's shoulder, burying her face on the crook of her neck. "Hold me," she murmured, "give me one second to feel you. Just a second to convince myself that this is not a dream – that it is you I am holding." _That you are not dead_, but JJ didn't say so.

The dark haired woman looked around. They were still out in public but the parking lot where they were standing was relatively empty, so she gave in. She tightened her embrace on the smaller woman, feeling the warmth of her skin seeped into her own, giving her a fake sense of normalcy – a sense that she belonged, that she was still who this blonde woman knew her to be.

"I want you to come back with me to D.C," JJ stated. And before her companion could let out a protest, she added, "We can protect you. _I _can protect you."

"I can't. JJ, you know I can't. It's too risky," the woman refused, "I can't... I don't want to pretend anymore, Jennifer. I don't want to have to spend the rest of my life hiding."

"And you'd rather run?" The accusation in JJ's words stung.

Once again, she stared at JJ. There was no anger in her fixed gaze, only exhaustion. "I'm no danger to anyone if I'm on the run," was her only explanation but JJ read right through it.

_She is running because she doesn't want us to get hurt_, JJ thought. "We are federal agents; we are capable of taking care of ourselves," the blonde stated matter-of-factly.

"You don't understand," she said in defeat.

"Make me," JJ insisted.

The dark haired woman smiled sadly. Her shoulder sagged as if carrying a heavy burden. She glanced around the parking lot – in case someone was watching them – and let out an audible breath when she spotted no one. "One day," she promised.

"When?"

"When it's safe to come home," _to you_. The last two words were left unsaid. "I have to go now."

"No!" JJ exclaimed, clinging tight. "Please, one... one more second," pleaded the former media liaison.

The profiler sighed, giving in. She closed her eyes and slowly leaned down to kiss the top of JJ's head. For a second there, she let herself forget who she was and what she was, making JJ the center of her world.

"I love you, Jennifer Jareau," she whispered. "You are the most precious person I've ever met in my life."

JJ felt a tear rolled down her cheek. She stifled a sob that had threatened to escape. "And I love you, too. I love _you_, remember that," she whispered back. JJ didn't say any names. No, she didn't just love Emily Prentiss. She loved this woman, _this_ nameless woman in front of her. She let the other woman slip from her embrace, knowing that it was time to let go. "Come back to me." It was not a request.

A smile appeared on the taller woman's face despite her pallid face and tears in her eyes. "Pinky promise," she said, winking at JJ then turned around to leave.

With that, Emily Prentiss – or whatever name she assumed now – went into the abyss of the dark night in Paris.

* * *

**A/n: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the ride.**


	7. Dear JJ

**Disclaimer: Not my play doh.**

**Author's note: I'm pretty depressed and I think I'd better do something productive with the depression rather than mope and be more depressed.**

**This work is un-beta'ed (and I don't even reread it). Any misspellings, wrong prepositions, weird tenses, awkward phrasing, and any other grammatical mistakes you find in the story is mine and mine only.**

**I'm going to tape my mouth shut now. **

* * *

.**  
**

_Dear JJ,_

_... I really don't know where to begin; I don't even know why I'm writing this. I think I just need to be reminded that I am still alive; that there's still someone back home (God, I don't even know what's 'home' anymore) remembers me. Or maybe... maybe I just miss you so much._

_How long has it been since the last time I saw you? It's been too long. I can't recall how many months have passed, or how many places I have been, or even how many aliases I have used – it's been way too many. It's wearing me down, moving from one place to another. I can be in this one city in the morning and be in another at night. I'm tired._

_I'm beginning to lose myself, JJ. I don't know who I am anymore. I can't look at myself in the mirror without asking 'who are you?' – and it breaks my heart every time because I can't provide an answer. It's getting harder to wake up in the morning and face the world because I am aware that this live I'm living in is not mine. Who am I? What am I? _

_If only I could see you for just a minute, I would feel truly blessed. I long to see a familiar face – a face that I can connect to a name, to a voice. I haven't spoken to anybody for weeks now; ordering food in many different languages don't count. _

_I dreamed about you last night, about our night out with Garcia (I miss her so much, too). Do you remember the fake Fed guy? Yeah, he was in my dream, too. It was so hilarious I actually woke up still laughing. But then I realized that it was just a dream, that I was all alone in some nameless hotel room, and the laugh turned into a sob. I miss you and the team – my family._

_How is Henry? He must have grown so much! A couple of days ago I saw a child that reminded me a lot of him. Do you think Henry will still remember me if we meet again one day? I bought him a toy while I was wandering on the streets a few weeks ago, but maybe he will be too big to play with it when I finally have the chance to give it to him. Please send him my love, and please, tell him about me some time so at least he won't forget that he was once had a pal named Emily._

_Anyway, guess who has a new pair of boots? Remember the pair we drooled over on e-bay? I saw a pair just like those on a night market, half the price on the net! I felt so accomplished! I miss going shopping with you and Garcia! _

_Oh, JJ, there are so many things I'd like to tell you, but I'm afraid my train is leaving in a few minutes. I want to post this now or else I'd chicken out and not send it._

_I miss you so much, Jennifer. I dream of the day when I can finally stand in front of you again as myself, not as one of these names I've been using now._

_Please remember me once in awhile – I will feel it when if you do._

_Your nameless friend._

_Ps. Oh, and I love you, my Jennifer._

...

JJ reread the letter over and over again until tears blurred her vision. She folded the sheet of paper and held it to her heart, wishing that it was true – that Emily would feel it.

"And I love you, too, my sweetheart," she whispered. Again, JJ didn't mention any names.

.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy ride. :)**


End file.
